I think these are the best surprises...
He'll love it- that is IF I can catch up with him in these dagnamit mountains before I move or he moves...
I loathe change.
I'm still deciding on the title.
Either "Jakey" or "When the Mirror Lies".
Mixed Medium on wood. Around 2'x2'. (I don't really feel like measuring.)
I guess I'll come out of my "cave" now and hang out with the real world. It gets kinda lonely in the cave and I get sick of myself- sick of my whining. But I have to stay in the "cave" til I figure out what I'm whining about...
This time? I think I'm scared to move. I know what it's like to be lonely here- in the same state as people who love you, know you, share your history. Nashville's an unknown lonely.
I've decided I'm pretty self-absorbed and demanding and I hate me this week. I'm scared I'll be left, which is pretty ironic when it's me doing the leaving- leaving LA, leaving friendships, leaving family, leaving pretty Yosemite nature- all in the name of Individualism. Or is it just that I have my identity wrapped up in other people and what they think of me that I am panicking about what will I do when they are gone?
I hope I go through this for a higher calling. I saw "Amazing Grace" last night and it confirmed the loneliness in the calling. The Bible talks a lot about persecution but I think that modern day persecution looks a little bit more like missing your friends and ex-lovers. Of course the worst is when you miss "them" (or what you have created these to be in your mind) when you are standing right in front of the actual them. Mostly, I feel screwed up and little on the melancholy side. It's easy for me to give people lots of room for grace- for me, I fear it's the standard of perfection, or I doom myself to the simple label of "lame".
The most important thing when coming out of the "cave" is to find balance again.
Where are you, Balance?
I feel safer with a paint brush...
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2 comments:
okay, first of all can i just say, that picture is absolutely amazing!! i love it triny. it's beautiful. AND, can i also say, it's SO good that i instantly knew it was jake. you captured him so perfectly. his eyes, his posture... i can really feel him through your painting. this is a side of your art i haven't seen before (my exposure has been limited to mostyl shapes thus far), and i am utterly impressed.
ps - i vote "when the mirror lies".
pps - kinda cool and kinda freaky... your three-colored circles are both the shape and colors we (my work) are using as our logo for our rebrand.
The regret you will feel from sitting still will far surpass the fear of the unknown. Go for it with confidence!
Meanwhile, I'm staying put here in sunny LA. hahhaha. jk. sorta.
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