What's in a word?

My Mom swears my first word was "Sauvignon"...

...and my sister Angela's was "Rollercoaster".

She also says I was the only one of her four children that had an imaginary friend.

...WINE drinking imaginary friend...

Blaze!

Today I went on a walk to the liquor store to see if I could stomach my minds ambition, and I kid you not, I saw a tree that looked like it was on fire but in leaf form!

I met this guy at Matt Patterson's Halloween party that told me that trees worship the sun, their life-giving force, and teach us how we are to worship God. Their leaves follow the sun as it moves through the day, reaching towards the sun (I think that's actually certain types of flowers, but I wasn't about to stop his theorizing). Then in the fall, they turn the color of flames to reflect the sun, reminding us of purification, self-sacrifice and the cycles of death. In the winter they are colorless, leafless, mourning the loss of the sun, and in the spring they jump back to life and are re-born. The tree cannot live without the sun and, is trying to mimic it.

As I listened to it, I thought, "uh huh, definitely in the Bay Area. Thank you hippie Mister". But something resonated with me that I couldn't put my finger on until I saw this flaming tree today of oranges and reds and yellows. I put a fallen leaf in my purse hoping that next time I go searching in my purse for something on a grey and dreary day, I'll find a little bit of color again.

It is amazing how even the smallest amount of rain changes the way I see color, especially reds and greens. Have you ever watched a person with red hair as they walked outside on a grey day? I kid you not, their head stands out and makes the world a better place! I always swear I am going to re-dye my hair red when it rains and instead I end up watching "Moulin Rouge" or humming something from "The Little Mermaid".

I am thankful for something warm and color-infused in the middle of a murky grey. I have never been a great fan of grey. I know it's supposed to say "sophisticated" and "foundational" but to me is says "lethargy" and "dull".

I guess, what I am trying to say poorly is this- you never know what lies beneath the surface of a grey day. Although you might be particularly gloomy, someone else might be on a walk for the first time post-food poisoning discovering a flame-like tree, humming "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?" and trying not to slip on a big grease puddle.

And that my friends is something you can put in your "Chicken Soup for the Soul" pipe and smoke!

Target's Cheese Pizza: NOT Your Friend!!!

Now, it may not come as a surprise to some that eating a personal cheese pizza from Target's "Pizza Hut" is asking for trouble... However, in my delirium of shopping, I decided to listen to my very cranky stomach at nearly 10pm and partook of such a pizza.

I should have thought twice about the fact that someone else had vomited in the Target bathroom. I should have thought thrice when the girl traded out my pizza box with another saying, "uh, here. This one's more fresh". Oh, but my stomach was not to be stopped! It would not listen to my brain shouting, "you don't even LIKE cheese!" No, it set it's rumblings about that little box of cardboard and would have no other.
What it didn't know is what really laid inside was a large amount of bacteria lovingly placed inside a gooey, round shaped facade.

Just look at this ad and tell me, would your stomach be fooled?!?

This ad is RIGHT! While some pizza companies might want to lay off adding bacteria to their personal pan pizzas, Pizza Hut refuses to cut corners!

That's right my lovely readers, I ended up with the WORSE case of food poisoning I have EVER had in my life!!!

At some point yesterday, when I was trying to figure out how to get out my predicament, I landed on Web MD's article on "Recognizing Food Poisoning"as well as a few other web articles. Not only did I have every single one of the symptoms (except for the ones for "Botulism", thank the good Lord above), I found them to be quite incomplete in their descriptions. So I thought it only fair to "talk shop" with you all and share my new knowledge...

"Food poisoning is a common, yet distressing and sometimes life-threatening problem for millions of people in the U.S., and throughout the world. People infected with foodborne organisms may be symptom-free or may have symptoms ranging from mild intestinal discomfort to severe dehydration and bloody diarrhea. Depending on the type of infection, people can even die as a result of food poisoning.
More than 250 different diseases can cause food poisoning. Some of the most common diseases are infections caused by bacteria, such as Campylobacter, Salmonella, Shigella, E. coli O157:H7, Listeria, and botulism." (Thanks WebMD!)

(Basically, it's a very wordy way of saying "Expect to feel like you've been flushed down the toilet... A FEW TIMES!")

And now... a drum roll for the symptoms...

• Acute Vomiting
  
• Acute Diarrhea

Basically "acute" is a nice way of saying expect a large stick of dynamite to be implanted into your stomach and not know which way it's going to explode- if you're lucky, expect it to go off at the same time! Yay!

• Abdominal Pain and Cramping

OK, now, being a lady, I am no stranger to the abdominal pain and cramping... let me tell you, this was NOT it! This felt like open wounds inside my body and my abdominal muscles were convulsing in a major temper tantrum!

• Nausea

I think this means "sick to your stomach". Uh, pretty sure the acute vomiting and diarrhea and abdominal pain and cramping had this one covered... nausea... sheesh!

• Fever and Chills

Imagine your worst day having the flu- the sweating, the shaking, the seeing weird things that aren't there- on top of all these other symptoms. Oh yeah, that was a blast. I had my face up against my open window and was surrounded in a million blankets.

• Malaise (what they in the medical profession define as "general uneasiness")

OK, now this might at first glance seem like a no brainer. But let me tell you what lie beneath the whole malaise surface... a restlessness that cannot be quenched. When you've thrown up for the SIXTH time, rest is your friend- but I could NOT lay still! I swear to you that my SKIN hurt!

• Headaches

Once the majority of the Acute Vomiting and Diarrhea had subsided, I realized I had had a headache the whole time. Isn't that weird? One of the ones on the top and sides of the head, like someone had been scrunching it for the last 24 hours. Probably fever related.




Now, here's what the medical professionals in their weird, impersonal way left out. If you have food poisoning, you can expect the following:

• Standing up WILL make you throw up again. I tried to walk halfway down the driveway (we're talking less than 50 yards) to meet my step-mom holding a bag of grocery goodies for me and after her heart-felt welcome of "Don't we look lovely" (followed by my groan and her hugging me and saying) "poor baby", I had to say, "uh, thanks, I gotta go..." ... run to the bathroom and throw up for the millionth time!


• Drinking water is a BAD idea (expect to see that again in about 5 minutes).


• Eating more than half a Popsicle is straight out (although it adds color to a rather unpleasant situation, so, for the aesthetically minded, maybe this may offer a humorous small relief).


• In fact drinking more than about a tablespoons worth of bright blue powerade or pedialite is not possible (both would make you want to vomit under any other circumstances, but today, they are your best friends!).


• Your family, regardless of any post-Thanksgiving tiffs, are truly your best friends!


• You will smell, your house will smell, everything smells, because vomit is coming out of your nose!


• If you have OCD, you also have my sympathy! I literally had a swarm of small fruit flies circling around my body at one point. I totally felt like Pig Pen! THIS IS NORMAL! Just try to embrace the disgusting- I tried taking a shower, because I couldn't handle it anymore, and that completely backfired!


• If you can't eat food yet, you really shouldn't be thinking about going back to work. This is a tough one for me, but important! Do you really want that gurgling stomach and intestine to stay gurgling all week?


• And, most importantly, call the health department and the manager of the store! If you can sit up, you're getting back the fight in you!!! =)

So, from all my research, it appears that the cheese in my pizza was not properly pasteurized. Someone phone Louis Pasteur!!! STAT!

The moral of my story is this: Target's Pizza Hut Personal Cheese Pizza- NOT your friend!!!

The sub-moral might be this: Vegan, it really IS better for your health!

Beautiful Day: A reflection

At some point in this mad naive agreement to film the MANY events for Beautiful Day ( I thought the 12 projects were for the YEAR not in A SINGLE DAY!!!), my role shifted from filmmaker (controlled, experienced, professional) to listener.
I feel like I learned so much that will take me a while to sort out that the experience actually feeled a bit like film school all over again... (everyone worked for free, equiptment was donated, locations were free, people didn't care about contracts, amatuer actors/characters, and ::gasp:: I didn't even need a single permit this whole shoot! And, of course, I worked a million hours for free... and spent the night in an editing bay... grr...)
Anyways, back to the part about being a listener... people STILL are pouring their stories down my ears! The part that surprises me most about this is that I'm not sick of it- not tired. In fact I just feel my heart expanding. It's like I didn't know I had the love let alone the energy to hear what's going on with that person until they are in front of my face and the Spirit slowly opens up my ears and heart.
There have been incredible stories. Some now documented, others that I still need to follow up on, but I thought I'd share some of them from each project and unload my brain a bit- please feel free to help me process thru these!

Beautiful Bounty-
The two stories that stick out the most:
1) Jim called the family he was "adopting" to ask them what they would like for Thanksgiving dinner. They said, "actually we need soap, laundry detergent... could you bring that instead?" (Have you been there? I have. ) So Jim put together something awesome and went to deliver it. His adopted family was loading their cars full of personal belongings to sell at a Flea Market b/c they were going to be evicted in 3 days. Jim and his wife prayed about it and decided to take their money from their month's Impact budget (church offering- pre-commited) and gave it to the family. It was enough to help them stay until January, and we just heard yesterday that one of the people in the family got a job and starts in January. The timing was perfect! And all because Jim responded to the needs he saw and not what the project required.
(I have TONS of stories like this in my head... and no emotional vent yet... I think it's time for me to paint for a while...)
2) Valerie, the project leader, went thru this total transformation. She was trying to control the event and balance the number in need with the number of volunteers. She would panic and try to cling onto the project. This was unsuccessful and detrimental to the project. So, she decided she would surrender it to God and, in faith, move forward... and she was given absolutely everything she needed, each time. I am STILL getting the small stories that make up this overarching theme. Faith means letting go, yet still moving forward... I was learning that, but I felt like maybe I still have a lot more to learn about trusting other people, especially when they aren't in a union, aren't professionals and I've never really seen their work!

Blood Drive
The pastor couldn't give blood b/c he had just gotten back from scoping out Africa- checking out where we as a church should serve. The problems of Africa are monumental and the leadership didn't want to just sign up with what was already available- we wanted to scope it out and see where the need reall was.
He apparently went to a small village in Zambia on the blood drive "no go" list... I might go on that trip, if it doesn't conflict with the Compassion Unleashed Conference. Anyways, he had just gotten back, and he was there.
There were lots of other AMAZING stories of people who were serving in major other ways that showed up to give blood in spite of it.
I felt guilty I didn't give. Plus I've always wanted to know my blood type for real. But, in retrospect, I don't think I would have gotten thru all those locations, a blind date, a night of capturing, a morning of shooting, a day of editing, and a screening, if I'd given blood. I barely made it thru with all my veins had to give!

Car Clinic & Day Spa
My heart really goes out to single moms. There's probably a lot to unpack there, but for whatever reason, this event to take care of widows, single moms and wives of military personel really hit my heart. I think a lot of that was the filmming.
Mike Mahaffie and I went to this one single mom's house. This woman was a MESS- her boyfriend, the father of the child, just died in February. So, in many ways she was both a single mom and a widow now. She was living with her mom who was overbearing. Her mom had also been a single mom. I can't help but still feel for the little child, Shashanna. There was this one moment when were shooting in emotional chaos where Shahanna started playing with Shaggy and Scooby Doo on the table. We filmmed it and it was the calm in the eye of the storm. It's like, no matter what happens, kids still play out what is not available in the room- they are saved by play. I felt like Mike, Shashanna and i really bonded in that moment. Well, maybe Mike and I bonded more in the editing suite and shooting with less that 5 hours of sleep in 3 days... If the Turtles were there they'd sing, "so delirous together..."
So, I really felt for this woman, and the truth is, I don't think the car clinic and day spa made that much of a difference. I feel like it opened up a door to connect with women and form the relationships they so need, but if the church doesn't follow up until next years car clinic and day spa, i think we missed something important.

I need to take a break from the computer and get coffee. It IS 11:33am afterall...
This is only the tip of the iceberg.
More to come...

But can I just say I love the Red Paintings? http://www.theredpaintings.com/

Thanksgiving Check UP

So Thanksgiving was yesterday, if you didn't notice.
And with Thanksgiving comes this slew of thoughts for me...

Thoughts like:

Why is this the grossest holiday created?

Think about it- the day that celebrates gluttony, followed by the day that celebrates consumerism and overspending (Hmmm... Credit Card debt with a side of "maybe mom will like this... maybe?"). , followed by murder a tree day, followed by Pray-to-Jesus-for-forgiveness for your stupid weekend-Day...

Why?

Why hang onto dumb traditions- I rarely have fun with my family on these kinds of occassions. I find that weird- I have fun with them the day before and the day after- but holidays feel formal in the not so fun way. I end up feeling bored and resentful, quiet and in my own Trina Universe where people don't ask you if you eat "Tofurkey" because they think they're funny and clever when really they're just ignorant and picking on you b/c they don't want to be there either!

Seriously...
Why is it fun to stare at a stuffed bird's ass?
Why is it fun to eat your brains out then sit for a long time, sleepy, with the people that know how to annoy you the most?

Thanksgiving's boring and I can't figure out how...

"stuffing yourself" = "Thankfulness".

WHY NOT> have a hotel room bash with friends? Play music? Stay home and make art? Go see a movie before everyone else does? Skip the dinner dulldrums and go hiking with your fam? Repaint your toe nails?

Seriously, I'm not so much a fan of what holidays have become.

I like Halloween. You get to dress up and go dancing.

I used to L.O.V.E!!! Christmas! I would create dramas, dances and poetry for my (obedient) siblings and I to perform for the family. We'd dress up in pretty dresses and go to the Four Seasons and twirl like princesses! There was a mystery then, a tangible sense of magic. I'd like that back, thank you very much...

I don't want to toot my own horn here, but I prefer to show people I'm thankful for them often and buy them things as I think of them b/c you never know when you're gonna die or THEY'RE gonna die and you can say those things anymore... so I get pissed off at all this pre-fabricated holiday B.S. that was primarily created to help companies stay in business during the cold winter months...

Holidays are almost always the most lonely days of the year. I don't get that either. I can be in a room full of 30 people- people I love, people I want to hang with, and I'll still be stuck in this intense longing.

Sum up, Trina, Sum up...

I guess I'd rather be filled with contentment than Turkey on Thanksgiving.

Warrior Princess #1

“One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.”-Joan of Arc

Woody Allen Makes Me Giggle...

I sometimes think it's no coincidence that Dianne Keaton and I share the same birthday...
other times I think, man, if only I'd stayed in there longer, I could've shared my birthday with Elvis!
But, say-la-WEEE!!!!

Here's some quotes to keep you giggling:

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Woody Allen

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen