Beautiful Day: A reflection

At some point in this mad naive agreement to film the MANY events for Beautiful Day ( I thought the 12 projects were for the YEAR not in A SINGLE DAY!!!), my role shifted from filmmaker (controlled, experienced, professional) to listener.
I feel like I learned so much that will take me a while to sort out that the experience actually feeled a bit like film school all over again... (everyone worked for free, equiptment was donated, locations were free, people didn't care about contracts, amatuer actors/characters, and ::gasp:: I didn't even need a single permit this whole shoot! And, of course, I worked a million hours for free... and spent the night in an editing bay... grr...)
Anyways, back to the part about being a listener... people STILL are pouring their stories down my ears! The part that surprises me most about this is that I'm not sick of it- not tired. In fact I just feel my heart expanding. It's like I didn't know I had the love let alone the energy to hear what's going on with that person until they are in front of my face and the Spirit slowly opens up my ears and heart.
There have been incredible stories. Some now documented, others that I still need to follow up on, but I thought I'd share some of them from each project and unload my brain a bit- please feel free to help me process thru these!

Beautiful Bounty-
The two stories that stick out the most:
1) Jim called the family he was "adopting" to ask them what they would like for Thanksgiving dinner. They said, "actually we need soap, laundry detergent... could you bring that instead?" (Have you been there? I have. ) So Jim put together something awesome and went to deliver it. His adopted family was loading their cars full of personal belongings to sell at a Flea Market b/c they were going to be evicted in 3 days. Jim and his wife prayed about it and decided to take their money from their month's Impact budget (church offering- pre-commited) and gave it to the family. It was enough to help them stay until January, and we just heard yesterday that one of the people in the family got a job and starts in January. The timing was perfect! And all because Jim responded to the needs he saw and not what the project required.
(I have TONS of stories like this in my head... and no emotional vent yet... I think it's time for me to paint for a while...)
2) Valerie, the project leader, went thru this total transformation. She was trying to control the event and balance the number in need with the number of volunteers. She would panic and try to cling onto the project. This was unsuccessful and detrimental to the project. So, she decided she would surrender it to God and, in faith, move forward... and she was given absolutely everything she needed, each time. I am STILL getting the small stories that make up this overarching theme. Faith means letting go, yet still moving forward... I was learning that, but I felt like maybe I still have a lot more to learn about trusting other people, especially when they aren't in a union, aren't professionals and I've never really seen their work!

Blood Drive
The pastor couldn't give blood b/c he had just gotten back from scoping out Africa- checking out where we as a church should serve. The problems of Africa are monumental and the leadership didn't want to just sign up with what was already available- we wanted to scope it out and see where the need reall was.
He apparently went to a small village in Zambia on the blood drive "no go" list... I might go on that trip, if it doesn't conflict with the Compassion Unleashed Conference. Anyways, he had just gotten back, and he was there.
There were lots of other AMAZING stories of people who were serving in major other ways that showed up to give blood in spite of it.
I felt guilty I didn't give. Plus I've always wanted to know my blood type for real. But, in retrospect, I don't think I would have gotten thru all those locations, a blind date, a night of capturing, a morning of shooting, a day of editing, and a screening, if I'd given blood. I barely made it thru with all my veins had to give!

Car Clinic & Day Spa
My heart really goes out to single moms. There's probably a lot to unpack there, but for whatever reason, this event to take care of widows, single moms and wives of military personel really hit my heart. I think a lot of that was the filmming.
Mike Mahaffie and I went to this one single mom's house. This woman was a MESS- her boyfriend, the father of the child, just died in February. So, in many ways she was both a single mom and a widow now. She was living with her mom who was overbearing. Her mom had also been a single mom. I can't help but still feel for the little child, Shashanna. There was this one moment when were shooting in emotional chaos where Shahanna started playing with Shaggy and Scooby Doo on the table. We filmmed it and it was the calm in the eye of the storm. It's like, no matter what happens, kids still play out what is not available in the room- they are saved by play. I felt like Mike, Shashanna and i really bonded in that moment. Well, maybe Mike and I bonded more in the editing suite and shooting with less that 5 hours of sleep in 3 days... If the Turtles were there they'd sing, "so delirous together..."
So, I really felt for this woman, and the truth is, I don't think the car clinic and day spa made that much of a difference. I feel like it opened up a door to connect with women and form the relationships they so need, but if the church doesn't follow up until next years car clinic and day spa, i think we missed something important.

I need to take a break from the computer and get coffee. It IS 11:33am afterall...
This is only the tip of the iceberg.
More to come...

But can I just say I love the Red Paintings? http://www.theredpaintings.com/

Thanksgiving Check UP

So Thanksgiving was yesterday, if you didn't notice.
And with Thanksgiving comes this slew of thoughts for me...

Thoughts like:

Why is this the grossest holiday created?

Think about it- the day that celebrates gluttony, followed by the day that celebrates consumerism and overspending (Hmmm... Credit Card debt with a side of "maybe mom will like this... maybe?"). , followed by murder a tree day, followed by Pray-to-Jesus-for-forgiveness for your stupid weekend-Day...

Why?

Why hang onto dumb traditions- I rarely have fun with my family on these kinds of occassions. I find that weird- I have fun with them the day before and the day after- but holidays feel formal in the not so fun way. I end up feeling bored and resentful, quiet and in my own Trina Universe where people don't ask you if you eat "Tofurkey" because they think they're funny and clever when really they're just ignorant and picking on you b/c they don't want to be there either!

Seriously...
Why is it fun to stare at a stuffed bird's ass?
Why is it fun to eat your brains out then sit for a long time, sleepy, with the people that know how to annoy you the most?

Thanksgiving's boring and I can't figure out how...

"stuffing yourself" = "Thankfulness".

WHY NOT> have a hotel room bash with friends? Play music? Stay home and make art? Go see a movie before everyone else does? Skip the dinner dulldrums and go hiking with your fam? Repaint your toe nails?

Seriously, I'm not so much a fan of what holidays have become.

I like Halloween. You get to dress up and go dancing.

I used to L.O.V.E!!! Christmas! I would create dramas, dances and poetry for my (obedient) siblings and I to perform for the family. We'd dress up in pretty dresses and go to the Four Seasons and twirl like princesses! There was a mystery then, a tangible sense of magic. I'd like that back, thank you very much...

I don't want to toot my own horn here, but I prefer to show people I'm thankful for them often and buy them things as I think of them b/c you never know when you're gonna die or THEY'RE gonna die and you can say those things anymore... so I get pissed off at all this pre-fabricated holiday B.S. that was primarily created to help companies stay in business during the cold winter months...

Holidays are almost always the most lonely days of the year. I don't get that either. I can be in a room full of 30 people- people I love, people I want to hang with, and I'll still be stuck in this intense longing.

Sum up, Trina, Sum up...

I guess I'd rather be filled with contentment than Turkey on Thanksgiving.

Warrior Princess #1

“One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.”-Joan of Arc

Woody Allen Makes Me Giggle...

I sometimes think it's no coincidence that Dianne Keaton and I share the same birthday...
other times I think, man, if only I'd stayed in there longer, I could've shared my birthday with Elvis!
But, say-la-WEEE!!!!

Here's some quotes to keep you giggling:

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Woody Allen

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen

Letter to No One #1

I wake up in a cold sweat
Dreaming of memories never created
I still feel your skin
Surrounding my skin
I still feel your whispers
Crawling down my neck
I still feel two minds
Touching each other

Was it ever safe to open the eye of my soul?

I feel you steady beside me
But I'm waiting for you to bolt.
We travelled to so many worlds
And survived the planet Earth together
Without barely moving at all.

I've said goodbye so many times
And "I hate you's" become a lullaby
But when my eyes close
And my body surrenders to:

The truth of a heart still beating
The electricity of a brain still pulsing
The gentleness of a spirit still singing

I find you there.

AND I: Wake Up.
AND I: Shower off the memories.
AND I: Start another painful day without you.

Today's Fortune Cookie Says...

"Wine should be taken in small doses,

knowledge in large ones."

Pretty ironic since I'm supposed to be off alcohol & caffeine (grr) and done with my Theology class by tomorrow.
Good thing Theology classes give you 10 day extensions!
We'll see what my caffeine jitters have to say tomorrow morning!
Maybe they'll say, "let's have tea".
My "prize" for finishing Theology class will be getting to read the final Harry Potter book... also kinda ironic, I guess.

Hmm... Here's yet another good reason to be a veggie!

I wanted to celebrate my TWENTIETH blog by posting this hilarious fact about cows!

"Producing one kilo of beef generates more CO2 than a three-hour drive while all the lights are left on at home, a new Japanese study concludes."

So, it's okay to drive and leave your lights on if you're a vegetarian?!?

Or grind beef with your teeth if you ride your bike everywhere and use candles and hand fans?!?

Global Cool has such good ideas!
(For those of you who do not know about "Global Cool", it is a global warming non-profit formed by scientists and celebrities... & most notably by Orlando Bloom.)

You can read the WHOLE article here:
http://www.globalcool.org/en/2007/07/20/beefing-up-the-atmosphere/

Happy chomping!